


Inevitable (Voltron)

by Ebhenah



Series: Fictober 2018 [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 08:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16677994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebhenah/pseuds/Ebhenah
Summary: InevitableFictober18 Day 3Prompt 3: "How can I trust you?"Voltron fanfiction. Post season 07. Klance. Keith/LanceRated T for Language





	Inevitable (Voltron)

"You get close, then you get scared, and then you BAIL, Keith," Lance snapped, rounding on him, "it's who you are. So, what am I supposed to think now?"

Keith's mouth opened, but no sound came out. What was he even supposed to say to that? It was true. It was easier to leave than to be left behind.

Lance shook his head. He stomped around the room. He pushed his hands through his hair so many times it was all sticking up at weird angles. It was like he'd been hooked up to some kind of power source and all that energy had nowhere to go. "This isn't fair," he snapped, "you know that, right? You're timing is SHIT."

"I know," Keith managed to say. "I know it is."

"How long?" Lance demanded.

"What?" he blinked, that was so not the question he was expecting.

"How. Long," he repeated, anger flashing in his blue eyes. "How long have you been sitting on this?"

"Umm… how long for me, or how long for you? Because there's a diffe-"

"Are you KIDDING ME?" he snarled, "just answer the goddamn question Keith- you were the one who started this conversation in the first place!"

"Fine… I guess… since Nyma and Rolo stole the Blue Lion," he sighed, "that's the first time it, like, clicked."

Lance froze. He went from frenetic, agitated constant motion to stock still in less than a heartbeat. His eyes bored into Keith with such intensity he could FEEL the rage there impaling him, inch by inch.

"But… it probably started before that… and I kind of tried to convince myself it wasn't true for longer."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Oh my God Keith… Why did you try to convince yourself it wasn't true?"

"Oh… I didn't want it to be true. It hurt."

"It hurt," he repeated, shaking his head, "it hurt, he says. So, MONTHS before we even knew the Blades of Marmora existed, you knew?"

"Yeah," he crossed his arms over his chest, staring at the floor.

"Is that… Is that why you bailed on the team?" Lance hissed, "oh my God, it IS isn't it? Rather than fucking talk to me, you abandoned all of us."

"I didn't abandon anyone," he argued, "there were good reasons for me to go with the Blades… and Voltron had Shiro…"

You say you loved me," Lance breathed, "love me… and you left anyway. You just walked away. Like I was NOTHING."

"No! It wasn't like that," Keith insisted.

"Wasn't it?" Lance took a deep breath, "I don't understand how you manage to KEEP doing this shit to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You really have your head stuck so far up your own ass you are blind to everything, don't you?" He shook his head, "what was the point of telling me this? Now? What did you think was going to happen?"

"I…" he shrugged, "don't know, really… I just… I couldn't NOT say it any longer."

"Did you think I'd be happy? Overjoyed? Flattered? What?"

"I have no idea what I thought… I didn't think you'd be furious, though."

"Well, that's what you got. I'm furious," he threw his arms wide. "My life is pretty good right now… but here comes Keith fucking Kogane… ready to blast everything apart AGAIN. I'm so sick of rebuilding my life around whether or not you are in it, Keith!"

"What does that even mean?" Keith was clearly confused, visibly perplexed.

"You…" he snarled, shaking his head, "just… YOU… you're like some kind of Lance McClain-specific booby trap. You don't even DO anything and you fuck my life up. I was a really happy kid. Did you know that? When I got to the Garrison, I was sickeningly happy. Good student, big, happy family, best score on that testing sim in my whole school. I was going to go the Garrison like my big sister. I was going to find a gorgeous girl to fall in love with, be a fighter pilot, have lots of friends, get married, have kids and explore the solar system… and then.. YOU."

"How the hell did I stop any of that from happening?" Keith demanded.

"Because my happy, straight little ass took ONE goddamn look at you and your stupid mullet and fell head over heels in love with you, the hot shot who just. Kept. Beating. My. Scores. and never even knew I was alive, and that turned my whole life upside down." He made a noise that was very close to a growl, "I spent my whole first year in crisis, trying to make sense of what I was feeling… and when I eventually came to terms with that, suddenly you were GONE, and I had to figure it all out again, so my whole second year was me scrambling and just… missing someone who literally had no idea I even existed. I got that under control and bam-look who is back in my life- no recollection of me, no clue who I am, and now I'm stuck in space fighting a goddamn war, and YOU are one of a literal HALF DOZEN people I interact with on a regular basis… and once again, my never-quite-good-enough ass is stuck in your fucking orbit and you STILL don't see me! You look right through me. For months- I am nothing. I'm the dumb one. I'm the screw up. The dead weight. The seventh wheel… and then- somehow, you start to see me and I think, maybe… jusssst maybe… and then you are gone. Gone." His hand scrubbed at his face and came away wet. Hot, angry tears streaked down his face, but they didn't slow him down. This needed to be said. It had been eating away at him for too long to go unvoiced. "So, I adjust. Again. And you come back… and it just keeps fucking happening…. and I know. I KNOW it's stupid and hopeless… and so I keep just… trying to change my focus. Concentrate on the job. Pursue anyone who catches my eye. Train. Hang out with the others. ANYTHING. Just… try to push the rubble that is my life into something that looks kind of like it might work. YEARS! Years I have been trying to figure out how to function around this massive, humiliating unrequited bullshit… and now you do THIS! So, yeah. Furious… because it could have been so different. It could have been AMAZING. But now- the one thing I know better than anything else in this entire universe is that Keith Kogane WILL destroy me, one way or another. So, here you are, saying exactly what I have literally dreamed of you saying, and all I can think is 'how can I trust you?' How can I trust you not to bail again? How can I trust you not to set off ANOTHER bomb in my life? And no matter how desperately I wish it was different, I know the answer is… I can't. I know I can't. You know I can't."

"Lance-" he looked stricken. Heartbroken. Ashamed.

"No! YOU did this! You don't get to be all sad-puppy now. You LEFT."

"I came back," he said weakly.

"To stop Lotor," Lance almost laughed, it was just too sadistically perfect. This was exactly the kind of thing just being around Keith did to his life. "Not good enough."

"No- I was gone two years," he insisted, "and I promised myself I would tell you. I would make things right with you. I would put myself out there. The whole thing with Lotor… that's totally separate… and it was important and time sensitive."

"The game show. Stranded, floating in space. Days and days of travelling in the Lions. How many times were we staring down death and you STILL never spoke up? You said nothing. You don't get a pass for that."

"I was scared," he said, his voice small. "I was terrified and I didn't know how to get past that… and I am really sorry. For all of it."

"Oh wow, Keith," sarcasm dripped from his words, "thank-you for your magical apology. I feel heaps better now."

"You're in love with me?" it was barely more than a whisper.

Lance rolled his eyes, "not like it's some kind of secret. It's humiliatingly obvious, because I am a complete disaster and I just keep handing you knives to gut me with."

"You're focusing on the wrong things, Lance. You're in love with me. I'm in love with you. We're in love. That matters."

"But it doesn't, though… because I might be the dumb one, but even I know not to risk this. I can't trust you."

"You can," he pleaded, "Lance… please… give me a chance to prove that you can trust me."

His expression didn't change, but his eyes shifted, meeting Keith's and it was enough to give Keith hope.

"No more Blades. No more running. No more closing myself off," Keith promised. "I don't expect anything. Just… please… be my friend, let me show you that I am here to stay… and if I do. If I prove that. If you trust me… THEN we will talk about all this. I love you. I'm in love with you. That didn't change in all the time I spent with the Blades. It didn't change in two years of being away from you, stranded on a space whale. It isn't going to change. I love you. I love you more than anything."

"God, I am such a fucking idiot," Lance muttered, striding towards Keith, "and a goddamn masochist." He clasped Keith's face in his hands and pulled him down into a kiss. He'd probably regret this, but not as much as he'd regret NOT doing it.


End file.
